To all a good night
by SharanMcQuack
Summary: A rewrite of "In Christmas Cheer" from Uncle Scrooge # 398.


"And to all a good night."

By Sharan McQuack.

Based on "In Christmas Cheers" in Uncle Scrooge # 398.

I'm sorry, but those old stories are too long and too dragged out for my taste. I prefer cutting to the chase.

Nice Jewish woman trying to be a good sport. YOU try having somebody else's religion shoved down your throat for 3 months a year, year after year and see if it doesn't get on your nerves.

* * *

Huey, Dewey and Louie sat around moping.

"Why so glum right before Christmas?" Launchpad asked.

"We want in-line skates for Christmas. (1) One pair each." Huey said.

"And our Unca Donald can't afford them." Dewey continued.

"And our Unca Scrooge is too cheap." Louie finished.

"Well, I'm going to a quarry your Uncle Scrooge owns. Mr. McDee's clearing land near the quarry so he can dig a new quarry. The old quarry ran out of stone. "Launchpad began

"I'm taking timber from trees he cut down to place A and evergreens to be Christmas trees in place B. There will be plenty of loose evergreen branches lying around loose. And holly branches, too. You can gather them, make them into wreathes and centerpieces and sell them. And make enough money to buy the in-line skates." Launchpad suggested.

"Good idea! We have a license to sell stuff, as long as we give most of the money to the Jr. Woodchucks!" Huey said.

"We'll just keep enough to buy three pairs of skates!" Dewey continued.

"And since they're not having a fund raising drive right now, anything we collect for them is so much gravy!" Louie finished.

So they went with Launchpad to the quarry. And while Launchpad loaded his plane with the lumber and evergreens, the boys gathered evergreen branches and holly branches and other pretty branches. They took them to a nearby vacant lot where they'd be out of the way and made them into wreathes and centerpieces. Then, they sold them and made a bunch of money. Once they had run out of wreathes and centerpieces, they counted the money.

"We have plenty of money! We can buy 3 pairs of in-line skates and still make a nice donation to the Jr. Woodchucks!" Huey said.

So the boys went home to the Mansion. Where Mrs. Beakly made them march upstairs and take a bath.

"You boys are filthy!" she said.

When they took off their shirts, they noticed something.

"Hey, this dirt looks like gold!" Huey said.

"Good joke, Huey." Dewey said.

"I'm not joking! Look for yourself! It's glittery and shiny and gold-colored." Huey replied.

"It does look like gold. But so does iron pyrite- fool's gold." Louie said.

"One way to tell. Here a tiny itsy bitsy little pebble of it. I'll whack it with this shovel and see if it flattens. Fake gold will crumble. Real gold will flatten." Huey commented.

It flattened. The boys bathed quickly. They found more gold dust in the tub afterwards. They took the dust and showed it to their Uncle Scrooge.

"Unca Scrooge! Unca Scrooge! We found gold! But we won't tell you where unless you promise to buy us in-line skates. One pair each." Huey said.

"Gold? Where?" Mr. McDuck asked.

"Here is the dust we found. But we won't tell you where we found it unless you promise to buy us each a pair of in-line skates." Dewey said.

Mr. McDuck examined the dust.

"It's gold, all right. Good quality gold, too. Very well. I promised to buy you each a pair of the skates you want. Where did you find this gold?" Mr. McDuck asked.

They took him to the vacant lot near the quarry. Mr. McDuck used his beak to sniff out the gold.

"Now we can give all the money we collected to the Jr. Woodchucks. I felt bad about keeping some." Dewey said.

"And I already own this land! But there is a lot of stone in the way! I'll have to move it to get at the gold. The stone isn't good for building houses, it's too thin and not tough enough." Mr. McDuck said.

"It would make good pavement stone for sidewalks. And this tar like mud stuff that's all over here? Mix it with some crushed rock and you got good concrete for roads." Huey said.

"If you gave it to Duckburg, then they won't ask why you're giving it to them." Dewey said.

"Hmm. And I could trade this lot, when I'm finished with it, for the smaller lot next to it. It belongs to the city and there's bound to be some gold there, too! But since I don't know that for a fact, I don't have to tell them anything." Mr. McDuck replied.

"And I have to move the stone fast...before somebody figures out what I'm up too! But I need a truck driver to move the stones...and who can I trust to keep his mouth shut? I can get Launchpad to fly the gold right to the Money Bin, so nothing happens to it, but who do I get to drive the truck full of stone?" Mr. McDuck asked.

"Unca Donald will do it. If you buy him a new truck, he'll keep his beak shut." Huey said.

So...Donald was hired to drive a truck Mr. McDuck bought for him. And Launchpad was hired to fly the gold to the Money Bin. Once Launchpad heard how the boys found the gold, he swept the plane he moved the lumber and pines in VERY carefully and found some gold dust.

'That gold dust..." began Mr. McDuck.

"Was in MY plane. I own the plane. I swept it. I won't touch what isn't mine. But this is MY gold." Launchpad replied.

"Hmpf. Not quite as dumb as I thought." Mr. McDuck muttered.

"What was that? I didn't hear you!" Launchpad teased.

Launchpad advised Donald to sweep his truck after hauling the stone, mud/tar and crushed stone. Donald found some gold dust, too.

Now Donald had enough money to buy gifts for the boys and a certain lady duck.

"I got a girl named Daisy, she almost drives me crazy, got a girl named Daisy, she almost drives me crazy..." sang Donald. badly. (2)

Now, the city of Duckburg now had the materials they needed to repave the roads and sidewalks of Duckburg, but how could they afford to pay anybody to do the work?

"Mr. Mayor, there are some apartment buildings in the city's temporary care because their owner died without leaving a will. We can't rent them or sell them because we don't own them. But we can let homeless people live there in exchange for work. Throw in new clothes and food, and they'll jump at it." Toady suggested. ( Naturally, he's a toad.)

"Good idea! Glad I thought of it!" Mayor replied.

So, the homeless of Duckburg got a Christmas gift.

"We're being trained to do a trade! Warm clothes! Three hots and a cot! This is BETTER than a gold mine! We can find a steady jobs repaving roads and sidewalks for private citizens! We can RENT a room like NORMAL people!" they said.

Now, Mr. McDuck had made it clear to the city of Duckburg that if they wanted the paving material gratis, they couldn't ask WHY he was being so generous. so THEY didn't ask. But others did.

"Now why is Scroogie giving stuff away all of the sudden? He's got Launchpad delivering something straight to the Money Bin! What could he be delivering?" Big Time asked.

"Pizza?" the food-happy Burger suggested.

"Not pizza, ya idiot!" screamed Big Time, whacking Burger one good.

"It's got to be gold! And we is going to grab that gold!" Big Time continued." Bomber! Warm up the plane! We is ambushing Launchpad in mid air!"

So, the Beagles waited until Launchpad made another trip from the quarry towards the Money Bin. They followed him in their plane and TRIED to overtake him, knowing Launchpad could only fly so fast safely in a urban area with plenty of tall buildings. Launchpad saw the plane on his tail and spoke to air traffic control. The tailgator was NOT supposed to be there, but they were ignoring the air traffic controller.

Then Launchpad started playing "In and Out the Window" He turned around one building and then another, dodging here, there and everywhere (3)until Bomber was totally muddled as to WHERE in Duckburg he was. Then Bomber saw Launchpad's plane and the Money Bin straight ahead.

"Once that gold is in the Bin, we'll never get it!" Bomber stated.

Bomber TRIED to get Launchpad to crash into the Bin, but Launchpad pulled up at the last second. Bomber crashed into a "Welcome to Duckburg" BILLBOARD with a giant PHOTO(4) of the Money Bin on it. Bomber's plane got stuck on the metal pylons holding up the billboard and it's wings ripped off. He was stuck.

The Beagles were soon hauled off to Duckburg Prison, where the rest of their family was. Including Ma Beagle.

"Oh well. At least the family is all together at Christmas. And that's what counts." Ma Beagle said

**The End.**

* * *

(1) Do terribly many real kids WANT a chemistry set?

(2) "Tootie Fruity" by Little Richard.

(3) This would be funnier if I could use "sight gags" like having Launchpad's plane "hide" behide buildings.

(4) Idea stolen from the mean ,nasty and totally unnecessary cover of Uncle Scrooge #396. (and this issue of Cap't Carrot in which they tricked the bad guy into destroying a fake Hollywood sign instead of the real thing.)


End file.
